Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Fly

I have heard it said that fear is the basic emotion that underlies our actions. When faced with danger, we have a choice—flee or fight. In everyday circumstances, we can think of these options as inaction (flee) or motivation (fight). Since hearing this theory, I’ve often asked myself why I’m thinking, saying, or doing something. Is my action or inaction based on fear?

A few years ago, I held a very good job as an Instructional Developer. While I enjoyed my job, my salary, and the people that I worked with, I felt unfocused. I could not find the balance between work and family that so many others around me were seeking and seemed to have accomplished. Too many things were falling between the cracks as I tried to juggle more, juggle faster, juggle better. The more I tried to focus on the details, the more I missed the big picture. I was not happy and my family was not happy, so I considered leaving my job. Hello, fear.

I was afraid to leave a good job. I was afraid that we wouldn’t be able to make it on one income. I was afraid that I would miss working. I was afraid of change.

However, I was more afraid of the impact that our harried life was having on our kids. Something had to give, so I became a stay-at-home mom.

It’s been hard and we’ve made a lot of adjustments, but it has been worth it. Today, our family spends more time together and we are happier. The kids have more time for homework and activities, they are getting better grades than ever, and they are less stressed. To supplement my husband’s income, we started a small business. I am also a substitute teacher who secretly dreams of becoming a children’s author. I say secretly because few people know about my desire to write. Hello, fear.

I am afraid that people might think it silly, unrealistic, or fanciful that I would want to start writing children’s books. I am afraid because writing is difficult. I am afraid that people might not like my writing or think it’s no good. I am afraid that I won’t find an agent or a publisher. I am afraid of failure.

So, I am starting this blog. My short-term objective is to write and to get into the habit of writing regularly. My long-term objective is to see my writing on the bookstore shelf someday. I hope you’ll join me in my journey and that we’ll learn some new things. Here, I will share my experiences with writing, reading, living. Why? Because I want to grow. And because I want to show myself and my family that I can stand in the face of fear and do what is in my heart.

Today, I stand on a new precipice unsure of what’s to come, and I propose another option for facing fear . . . fly . . . with me.

Flee . . . fight . . . fly . . . what will you choose?

3 comments:

  1. I LOVE IT!! So excited for you. Fly baby bird, fly. :-D

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  2. Fight! Always fight for your family! You go girl!

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